I apologise to those people who read this to keep up with my life, when my life gets busy it gets hard for me to keep up let alone allow you to. I will however hit you with some quick summaries.
Voice Lessons
Going really well, I'm nervous and out of my element but they're fun and my voice coach seems to think that I have an amazing voice with an amazing sound and can't wait to help me develop it. Cool.
Bouncing
It's been busy but fun, easily the best job ever if you're a single guy. Last weekend I ended with a few phone numbers, I'm not calling any of them because any girl that gives her number to a bouncer she met twenty minutes before needs her head examined and I don't really want any more "Crazy" in my life at the moment. Note the capital "C" on the word "Crazy" that's not an accident. . . some of those girls. . . whew! Still, it's nice for the ego to get the numbers and flirting is a fun game so I figure "Why not?"
Day Job
Crazy. We're getting our summer brochure together and it's been taking some serious time on my part, not bad time, and not unexpected time, just time. Lost some more staff, haven't found any new ones yet. Same old same old, still a fun job though.
Church
I'm still going, it's going well. I really like that place, the workshop the other weekend was good and I'm looking forward to the intro class that starts in March that I'm taking. It's only 3 evenings but I'm expecting some good things out of it, at the very least I'll meet some new people and that's always fun.
Sleep Apnea
Well, tonight I get to sleep with a machine attached to my face all night. I'm a light sleeper so this should be an interesting experience. This will tell me if I have sleep apnea or if I just snore, the lady giving me the machine said it would tell me "if" I snore. . .I told her that people in Belgium can tell her that I snore.
Self Actualization
It's slowed down but that's to be expected so I'm not concerned. Now it's just an ongoing process of small daily improvements and I'm working at them. I still choose to view every day as a great day and it's made my life a much happier place, I'm still not taking on things that I shouldn't and I'm working hard at those I should. All in all it's going well.
Marcus Aurelius
I seem to have misplaced my book. If you find it please let me know, I want it back so I can finish it.
Writing
I've been doing some random writing. I'm having trouble deciding what to make my first serious attempt at real publication though. Should I do a bunch of short stories? A book on picking up girls a the bar? A book on self actualization? A book on training?
The most votes seems to be going to the book on picking up girls, interspersed with funny anecdotes so I might go that way. Probably has the best market appeal out of all of them, in the end though I'm just going to write what comes out some days regardless of the overall plan. I'm enjoying giving in to my disease, it's fun.
Disease
Some people write because they like to. Some people write because they get paid to. Some people write because they have to. Not choose to, but have to. I'm one of the last ones. So was my favourite author Robert Heinlein who once said:
“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
Robert A. Heinlein
I know exactly what he means by that.
Fini
So if you have a suggestion about what to write throw it in the comments. If you have comments that's also an appropriate place for them, I want to hear what you're thinking.
Till next we meet. . .
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Slacking
It was pointed out to me today that I've been slacking with my updates, I would love to blame it on something but the truth is I've just not had much to write about. The last couple of days have involved work and that's about the sum total of my excitement.
I'm currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and I would recommend it to everyone out there with a caveat that it's a very very thoughtful book. When I had finished the first chapter (8 pages) I had to sit and meditate on it for two hours. I think this book is one that I'll be reading for quite some time to come and re-reading for the rest of my life.
That's about it.
I'm currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and I would recommend it to everyone out there with a caveat that it's a very very thoughtful book. When I had finished the first chapter (8 pages) I had to sit and meditate on it for two hours. I think this book is one that I'll be reading for quite some time to come and re-reading for the rest of my life.
That's about it.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Weekend Warrior
Wow, it was a busy weekend for me with lots of stuff happening.
Friday I worked then I went and bounced, it was a good night and I had lots of fun, slow though due to the long weekend and reading week being this week.
Saturday I slept until 3, did a lot of nothing exciting, then went to a social put on by the Salsa club I used to dance with. While it was a lot of fun I didn't stay too long, I think I need to break back into things gradually so when I felt it was time to leave I did. Prior to that I had an ER when I was there about being alone while at an activity like that, in the last 8 years I've almost always been with someone in those settings. I did however catch it and deal with it in a matter of moments. . . yay me!
After that I swung by the bar to get a phone number and got secunded into working. I managed to milk them for a lot more than my usual hourly rate since they were desperate and it was a bad night, paid off in spades.
Sunday I got up and went to church, then had lunch, then went to a workshop on Finding Your Life's Purpose. It was great on many levels, it was a great workshop that really helped me figure out not only what I should be doing with my life but set up a plan to do it and make money at it. Plus I had a massive ER while I was there and I managed to catch myself, integrate, and deal with it at the scene while remaining present in the workshop the whole time. It took a lot longer to process as a result but that was okay because one of the things I needed to do was deal with those while staying present in whatever I'm doing if possible.
So the weekend was a tremendous success on a wide variety of levels. . . cool eh?
Friday I worked then I went and bounced, it was a good night and I had lots of fun, slow though due to the long weekend and reading week being this week.
Saturday I slept until 3, did a lot of nothing exciting, then went to a social put on by the Salsa club I used to dance with. While it was a lot of fun I didn't stay too long, I think I need to break back into things gradually so when I felt it was time to leave I did. Prior to that I had an ER when I was there about being alone while at an activity like that, in the last 8 years I've almost always been with someone in those settings. I did however catch it and deal with it in a matter of moments. . . yay me!
After that I swung by the bar to get a phone number and got secunded into working. I managed to milk them for a lot more than my usual hourly rate since they were desperate and it was a bad night, paid off in spades.
Sunday I got up and went to church, then had lunch, then went to a workshop on Finding Your Life's Purpose. It was great on many levels, it was a great workshop that really helped me figure out not only what I should be doing with my life but set up a plan to do it and make money at it. Plus I had a massive ER while I was there and I managed to catch myself, integrate, and deal with it at the scene while remaining present in the workshop the whole time. It took a lot longer to process as a result but that was okay because one of the things I needed to do was deal with those while staying present in whatever I'm doing if possible.
So the weekend was a tremendous success on a wide variety of levels. . . cool eh?
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Many Fingers, One Moon
Reverend Patrick once pointed out that religions are like fingers all pointing to the moon, the problem is that some people get more wrapped up in which finger they follow than what the finger is pointing at. . . the moon.
I receive daily quotes in my e-mail from a church in Red Deer and this morning's quote is a beautiful example of the aforementioned occurrence.
When the compulsive striving away from the Now ceases, the joy of Being flows into everything you do. The moment your attention turns to the Now, you feel a presence, a stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfillment and satisfaction—you don’t look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results. Neither failure nor success has the power to change your inner state of Being. You have found the life underneath your life situation.
I find this interesting because a number of people that I've talked to have trouble understanding how I can pursue my self-improvement both through a dedicated spiritual means and through a coldly rational means at the same time as they seem to feel that the two awarenesses are mutually exclusive. I find however that they're very complimentary when brought together properly. You have to realize that Maslow talking about self actualization is a man talking about how you can be the best "You" you can be, last time I checked that's what Rev. Patrick talks about every Sunday. Even the tools provided in each area overlap tremendously, in the church we learn about affirmative prayer and affirmations, when I took my sports psychology it was called positive self talk. Again, the details differ but the big picture is the same from both areas and it's the big picture that I'm trying to focus on.
After all it's the moon that's important here, not which pointing finger you follow in order to find it.
I receive daily quotes in my e-mail from a church in Red Deer and this morning's quote is a beautiful example of the aforementioned occurrence.
When the compulsive striving away from the Now ceases, the joy of Being flows into everything you do. The moment your attention turns to the Now, you feel a presence, a stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfillment and satisfaction—you don’t look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results. Neither failure nor success has the power to change your inner state of Being. You have found the life underneath your life situation.
Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, p. 69
That is this morning's quote and quite clearly the author is referring to the achievement of a state of flow or a peak experience. Though they're not using the same words as Maslow it's quite clear that the meaning is the same as the traits described above also describe quite clearly a peak experience or flow state.I find this interesting because a number of people that I've talked to have trouble understanding how I can pursue my self-improvement both through a dedicated spiritual means and through a coldly rational means at the same time as they seem to feel that the two awarenesses are mutually exclusive. I find however that they're very complimentary when brought together properly. You have to realize that Maslow talking about self actualization is a man talking about how you can be the best "You" you can be, last time I checked that's what Rev. Patrick talks about every Sunday. Even the tools provided in each area overlap tremendously, in the church we learn about affirmative prayer and affirmations, when I took my sports psychology it was called positive self talk. Again, the details differ but the big picture is the same from both areas and it's the big picture that I'm trying to focus on.
After all it's the moon that's important here, not which pointing finger you follow in order to find it.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Some Mornings
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips
Today wasn't one of those days but the quote was so funny that I couldn't let it go without posting it.
Today I went to see the ear/nose/throat surgeon to talk about my snoring. He took all sorts of looks, I got to be on the receiving end of a nasal speculum and he stuck a camera up my nose to look down the back of my throat.
The result is that I'm going for a sleep study to confirm that I have sleep apnea, after which I'll get to try a CPAP machine to see if that helps. He said only about 50% of people can tolerate it and failing that I'm in for surgery.
The good news about the surgery is that he feels my tonsils are contributing about 40% to the problem so if I go under the knife he has to pull those out and that means that the whole thing is covered by health care. We'll see what happens after the sleep study which I should be up for in a couple of months.
I'm glad that something is finally happening about this after numerous doctor's visits.
-- Emo Phillips
Today wasn't one of those days but the quote was so funny that I couldn't let it go without posting it.
Today I went to see the ear/nose/throat surgeon to talk about my snoring. He took all sorts of looks, I got to be on the receiving end of a nasal speculum and he stuck a camera up my nose to look down the back of my throat.
The result is that I'm going for a sleep study to confirm that I have sleep apnea, after which I'll get to try a CPAP machine to see if that helps. He said only about 50% of people can tolerate it and failing that I'm in for surgery.
The good news about the surgery is that he feels my tonsils are contributing about 40% to the problem so if I go under the knife he has to pull those out and that means that the whole thing is covered by health care. We'll see what happens after the sleep study which I should be up for in a couple of months.
I'm glad that something is finally happening about this after numerous doctor's visits.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Actually I'm Actualizing
The last couple of days have gone really well for me. I mentioned last week that I've decided to pursue the goal of self actualization and to that end I made myself up some Flashcards. Basically I took some affirmations, some daily questions, and I made up little flashcards that I read throughout the day. There are only two of them and they're double sided but they contain pretty much everything I'm trying to achieve in a quick easy to reference format. I'll include them at the end of this post.
How's that working?
Well, because I have these thoughts of what I'm trying to accomplish in my head all the time I find it a lot easier to ensure that my behaviours match my goals. Often in life we declare a goal then spend our time with behaviours that are irrelevant, or worse, incompatable with the goal at hand.
In the last couple of days I've caught myself being judgemental, being frustrated with people, being angry at people, and because I had those thoughts of self actualization floating around my head I was able to release those thoughts and feelings and put something more appropriate in their place.
In the last two days I've had some of the best conversations I've ever had with people I would never have expected I could talk to, let alone like all because I chose to enjoy it and embrace them for who they are rather than be frustrated at them for what they're not.
Now all I need to do is keep it up.
Flashcards
This card is the general principals by which I endeavour to live, from a spiritual standpoint.
· I choose today to give myself the best life ever.
· Energy flows where attention goes.
· I'm the first example of how the world should love me so I need to teach people how to treat me.
· Success is living your talents within you.
· Attitude of Gratitude...I choose to focus on what I'm grateful for rather than what I resent.
· True forgiveness is saying thank you for giving me that experience.
· In the midst of chaos, in the middle of the storm, ask yourself: What are you here to teach me?
These are the traits of a self actualized person phrased as affirmations
· I embrace the facts and realities of the world (including myself) rather than denying or avoiding them.
· I am spontaneous in my ideas and actions.
· I am creative.
· I am interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key force in my life.
· I feel closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
· I have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
· I have discernment and am able to view all things in an objective manner. Judgments and prejudices are absent.
These are my morning meditations
· What are my intentions for today? What will I feel, be, desire, accomplish, broadcast, and experience?
· How will I express these intentions through action?
· What pain and hurt do I have that needs to be released today?
· Will I graciously accept what the universe has to offer? Even if it differs from my conscious intentions?
· Am I prepared to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me?
These are my reminder notes for when I find myself having an Emotional Response (ER)
· Acknowledge having an ER.
· Consciously own what is bothering you, identify it, express the emotions around it.
· Stop expressing, go inward for insight and clarity. What does it remind you of? Why is it familiar? Why does it bother you?
· Sink into the soft pain, be gentle with yourself.
· Stay with the soft pain, identify a physical point of pain, ground yourself, release judgments about yourself.
· Let the pain run it’s course, be thankful for the gift.
· Come out blissful, empowered, calm, with new understanding.
How's that working?
Well, because I have these thoughts of what I'm trying to accomplish in my head all the time I find it a lot easier to ensure that my behaviours match my goals. Often in life we declare a goal then spend our time with behaviours that are irrelevant, or worse, incompatable with the goal at hand.
In the last couple of days I've caught myself being judgemental, being frustrated with people, being angry at people, and because I had those thoughts of self actualization floating around my head I was able to release those thoughts and feelings and put something more appropriate in their place.
In the last two days I've had some of the best conversations I've ever had with people I would never have expected I could talk to, let alone like all because I chose to enjoy it and embrace them for who they are rather than be frustrated at them for what they're not.
Now all I need to do is keep it up.
Flashcards
This card is the general principals by which I endeavour to live, from a spiritual standpoint.
· I choose today to give myself the best life ever.
· Energy flows where attention goes.
· I'm the first example of how the world should love me so I need to teach people how to treat me.
· Success is living your talents within you.
· Attitude of Gratitude...I choose to focus on what I'm grateful for rather than what I resent.
· True forgiveness is saying thank you for giving me that experience.
· In the midst of chaos, in the middle of the storm, ask yourself: What are you here to teach me?
These are the traits of a self actualized person phrased as affirmations
· I embrace the facts and realities of the world (including myself) rather than denying or avoiding them.
· I am spontaneous in my ideas and actions.
· I am creative.
· I am interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key force in my life.
· I feel closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
· I have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
· I have discernment and am able to view all things in an objective manner. Judgments and prejudices are absent.
These are my morning meditations
· What are my intentions for today? What will I feel, be, desire, accomplish, broadcast, and experience?
· How will I express these intentions through action?
· What pain and hurt do I have that needs to be released today?
· Will I graciously accept what the universe has to offer? Even if it differs from my conscious intentions?
· Am I prepared to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me?
These are my reminder notes for when I find myself having an Emotional Response (ER)
· Acknowledge having an ER.
· Consciously own what is bothering you, identify it, express the emotions around it.
· Stop expressing, go inward for insight and clarity. What does it remind you of? Why is it familiar? Why does it bother you?
· Sink into the soft pain, be gentle with yourself.
· Stay with the soft pain, identify a physical point of pain, ground yourself, release judgments about yourself.
· Let the pain run it’s course, be thankful for the gift.
· Come out blissful, empowered, calm, with new understanding.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Two Wheeled Humour
If you know me you know that I'm an avid motorcyclist, so when these came my way I couldn't help but share. I hope you enjoy the lighter content, and yes folks there is a "u" in "humour".
1. Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. ~Author Unknown
2. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. ~Author Unknown
3. Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. ~Author Unknown
4. Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. ~Author Unknown
5. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. ~Author Unknown
6. Whatever it is, it's better in the wind. ~Author Unknown
7. Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. ~Author Unknown
8. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary
9. Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels
10. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. ~Author Unknown
11. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. ~Author Unknown
12. When you're riding lead, don't spit. ~Author Unknown
1. Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. ~Author Unknown
2. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. ~Author Unknown
3. Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. ~Author Unknown
4. Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. ~Author Unknown
5. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. ~Author Unknown
6. Whatever it is, it's better in the wind. ~Author Unknown
7. Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. ~Author Unknown
8. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary
9. Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels
10. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. ~Author Unknown
11. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. ~Author Unknown
12. When you're riding lead, don't spit. ~Author Unknown
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