Talking Heads

I had a thought that perhaps since I put up my mother's Eulogy I should also put up the speech I delivered at my brother's wedding on the 28th. Here it is for anyone who's curious, it got a few laughs in the right places so I think it went pretty well.

Ladies and Gentlemen . . . and Gord:

I would like to start by introducing myself; as the more perceptive among you may have deduced from my current attire and my earlier duties I am the Best Man. More specifically I’m Craig’s older brother Stuart.

When Craig asked me to be his best man I did my best to duck out of the duty, as those of you who know me are aware I very much dislike giving speeches and being the centre of attention, even for a brief time. However he persisted and how could I refuse him, my brother, and the person who has been my best friend since before he was born?

Now, I'm sure a number of the fellows here today have been a best man at a wedding before, but I wonder how many of you have ever received written guidelines from the bride to be? Before I go any further, I'd like to explain that two weeks ago I received this email from Nina:

I was very pleased when Craig asked you to be best man at our wedding. I knew that by selecting you, he had made the right decision. But, as we get close to the day itself, I'm sure you appreciate the stress that we are both under. And adding to this, there are two aspects of the day that cause me concern - your speech and your conduct. I appreciate that as best man you are required to write a speech that pokes a certain amount of fun at the groom, with stories and jokes about his past exploits. But I do want you to remember that this is our wedding day, and I don't want something that you might say or do to spoil it. I would ask that you also keep a very close check on Craig as well. With this in mind, please take note of the following and I’m sure we’ll all have a wonderful day:

Remember at all times that my family is there.
Remember at all times that your family is there.
So do not get drunk.
Do not swear
Do not tell rude jokes
Do not use bad language.
Do not use your fingers when eating.
Do not take food from anybody else’s plate.
Do not sing.
Do not pick your nose.
Do not leer at women with low cut tops.
Do not belch.
Do not harass the bridesmaids.
Do not steal anything.
But most importantly of all, do not let Craig do any of the above.

So with that in mind I stand here before all of you somewhat at a loss as to what to say so I’ll keep it simple. Throughout his life Craig has been surrounded by people, some for a long time and some for a short time. I can say in all honesty that in the past three years I have seen Craig smile more, laugh more, and generally enjoy life more than ever before and I feel that there is no cause other than the beautiful woman who has so recently become my sister-in-law.

James C. Dobson once said

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

And in Nina Craig has found this person.

So I say

Nina, you’ve done good. Craig, you’ve done better.

So I ask you all now to raise your glasses in a toast to the Groom.

To the Groom!