Made It

Covered some interesting ground with a psychologist today. I'm not going to let everyone in on the details but the long and the short of it is that I've kept my emotions insanely tightly controlled for the last 20 odd years. In recent times I've started letting go of that control and detachment (thanks to J. and later A. for that).

However, since I've never done that I have the emotional control of a five year old. I have all these new emotions tearing around inside me and I have no idea how to handle them. What I need to do is find a comprimise between the armour I've spent my life wearing and leaving myself open to everyone/thing like I have been recently. Sound familiar A.? I think I heard that about you once.

However, seeing a psychologist is great because he can help me do that and find that healthy middle ground where I have barriers between people and I but they're the right thickness. Sound familiar A.?

So I'm going to work on it, since I have benfits that cover a great deal of this I'm going to take full advantage of that and have many and frequent appointments. The sooner I can get a handle on this the sooner I'm back to having that nice stable energy I've lost.

So in an open comment to A. No wonder we didn't work. We both had exactly the same barrier issues going on and neither one of us had any idea what to do about it. Good luck.