Dungeons, Bridges, and Boats

More time today spent as a tourist, again this trip was solo.

First I went to the tower of London, this of course is an old castle with way too many buidlings attached to it to ever manage to see them all in a single day unless you've got a really high boredom threshold. Not that the place isnt' fascinating, it is, you just start to get a little immmune to the concept when every room contains something just as fascinating as the last. The biggest downside to the Tower of London is that in many areas you're not able to take pictures. . . these of course include all the most fascinating areas. I did get to see the crown jewels while I was there as well as an impressive number of graves. Plus there were weapons, armour and all sorts of interesting stuff from various eras there.

Tower of London Pics Here!

The best part was that I arrived just in time to land myself a guided tour and our tour guide was perhaps one of the most amusing people I've ever listened to. He had obviously done this a number of times and obviously loves his job, it was a real pleasure to see him at work.


Next I walked myself over to the Tower Bridge which was really fascinating. Very controversial at the time it's proven to be one of London's most recognizable landmarks and the engineering that went into it was spectacularely impressive for the time, in fact it's still working away today and I managed to get myself some video of it in operation. There's a tour you can take that gets you down into the mechanical and engine rooms and it's really quite worth it if you get the opportunity.

Tower Bridge Pics!

After the bridge I stuck with the water theme and treked over to see the HMS Belfast, it was pretty cool but I've got to admit that by now my wow factor is starting to wear out. The part that made the Belfast somewhat disappointing is that they're moving from one tour strategy to another so you really have no idea where to go. I missed out on a few sections of the ship as a result because I had no idea how to get there and the signage and the map couldn't agree and neither one seemed to be predominanlty right so I finally gave up. Still, it was worthwhile and I quite enjoyed it, plus hearing stories in the voices of the crewment who experienced them really adds to the tour.

HMS Belfast Pics!

Finally I meandered over to the British War Experience which is pretty interesting. I think it would be a lot more interesting if I could relate to it better but I'm too young and hope never to be able to relate to that sort of experience. Still, I enjoyed it though due to the lighting and the smoke they use for effect pictures are difficult and so I have very few.

What will tomorrow bring? Who knows. . .

Till next we meet. . .

Here there and Everywhere

So today I decided to do some touristing. . . I have no idea if you can turn the word tourist into a verb or not but that's never stopped me in the past and I see no reason it should now.

The first place I started was at the Museum of London, it was pretty cool. They had an exhibit on about what happened on the site before London made it's appearance two thousand odd years ago and pretty much carried it through Roman times and Medival times as well. All in all it's pretty interested and some of the amazing items that they have on display definitely make the visit worth while.

Museum of London Pics!

After that I headed over to St. Paul's Cathedral which is so absolutely amazing it should be a must see for anyone who comes to London. Unfortunately you're not allowed to take pictures inside but I will admit to snapping a few before I learned this, I also snagged some while up in the galleries overlooking London. I apparently need to do more cardio because hauling my ass up 450+ steps was killer.

St. Paul's Pics!

St. Paul's is a beautiful place and seeing all the tombs is really quite moving, realizing that you're just feet away from Admiral Lord Nelson among others is really quite something.

Finally I had some more time to kill so I headed over to the London Aquarium, it's pretty cool and really worth checking out. Petting a ray is really cool, they're kind of like aquacats. . . at least the attitude toward being petted seemed about the same. I will say too that this is the hardest attraction I have ever tried to find. There is no signage, there are no directions, you actually need to pass through unrelated businesses to get there. . . bizarre.

Well, that's about it so.

Till next we meet. . .

Big Pile of Rocks

Pictures of Stonehenge trip!

Holistic Navigation - I may not get where I'm going but I'll always get to someplace I needed to be

It's a term I first learned from reading the works of Mr. Douglas Adams, particularely his Holistic Detective Agency series. While this was the first time I had seen the idea put in print in such an eloquent format it's an idea that I have subscribed to most of my life.

As a result my plans for yesterday of viewing St. Paul's cathedral and the London Museum were easily derailed whilst eating breakfast. I was talking to a pair of fellow hostel dwellers over breakfast and asked what their plans were for the day, those two ladies indicated that they planned to head out and visit Stonehenge. . . at which point I decided that it was time for some holistic navigation and attached myself to them for the day.

We started by taking the tube to Victoria Station where we proceeded to get dumbfounded looks from the ticket clerks as we asked for bus/train tickets that would get us closes to Stonehenge. . . fortunately the kind fellow in line behind us heard our requests and decided to strike up a conversation with me and shortly we had our tickets to South Hampton! 3 hours later we arrived. . .

As it turns out the gentleman had set us on the right path but we actually needed to continue on to Salsbury so we picked up some more tickets and an hour later found ourselves in Salsbury.

the thing of it is that we arrived in Salsbury at about 2:45, having started our journey at 10 am on the tube and 11am on the first bus. You wouldn't think this to be a big concern except that there's another half hour bus to Stonehenge and the place closes at 4. With that same bus leaving right away and being the last one back.

Being of an adventurous type we headed out on the bus anyway figuring that we would find out way back one way or another. I was confident that with two attractive girls with me we would get a ride even if I had to hide while they negotiated a lift.

So we arrived at Stonehenge, ran around madly taking pictures for about 10 minutes and dove back on to the bus. The wonderful driver had fallen prey to the batted eyelids and heaving bosoms of my compatriots and decided to wait an extra 15 minutes for us so we could get a ride back to Salsbury.

Stonehenge is cool . . . big pile of rocks. . . just like in movies and pictures. . .

We proceeded to walk around Salsbury looking for dinner and discover that for some reason nobody was serving food. Apparently many places don't serve food during the fair. . . fair? Whoever heard of a fair in Salsbury? Bah!

We did finally find a place to eat then proceed to head back to London on our return tickets. 12 hours after we first climbed on a bus we arrived back at our hostel, somewhat tired but glad we made the trip. I was thrilled to have made two new friends, one of which is Canadian and the other an Ausy. I'm meeting up with the Ausy again when I hit Scotland so that should be fun!

Today?

I'm moving to yesterday's plan of St. Paul's and the Museum. I'll try to upload some pics to facebook later too.

Till next we meet. . .

And we'll have some fun in the Underground

Well, I'm in London!

The flight was exactly what you would expect, that is to say I found myself trapped in a seat that was slightly too small for a 12 year old for about 8 hours. Really it was okay, the food was strangely tolerable and I didn't even bother with the in-flight movie. Rather I read, and slept as well as I can in a strange environment surrounded by people I don't know. Apparently I didn't snore. . . or I didn't snore sufficiently to overcome my fellow passanger's fear of waking me.

Upon arriving I picked up my bag, which had come around just as I got the carosel which was a strange and slightly unnerving occurance. Having arrived with such fortuitous timing I was expecting to find that not only had my bag been searched but that it had been raped and pillaged as well. . . strangely not.

I managed to make my way on the underground with great success and reached my hostel with no problems at all. This one was less luck and more advanced planning, in choosing my hostel I had intentionally picked one that was a direct ride on the underground from the airport and in fact is directly across the street from Hammersmith station, most convenient.

I did also score myself a pay as you go phone with a local number so if anyone would like that number either call or facebook me for it. It costs me a bit thought so don't be disappointed if I don't pass it along, it doesn't mean that I don't love you it just means that I love you less than I love other people.

Upon my arrival I disovered the first inaccuracy on the web site and was forced to sit and wait until 2pm until I could check in, this was okay as it allowed me to grab a burger and a couple of pints. . . it's not like I'm driving anywhere for the next 3 weeks so I can't see any harm in spending that time half cut.

When finally I checked in they sent me up to my room, 301. You would normally expect this to be on the third floor but apparently the "new" math is still too much for some people and its actually about four and a half floors up. There is no elevator, which is okay, but the staircase is this tight, twisting thing that I can barely fit through on my own. . . imagine me with a 72L, 50lbs backpack on. Suffice it to say that I have a whole new appreciation for the term "wedged in place".

After that I went for a wander and found myself an internet cafe in which to type this up. There are some strange differences here though. . . the keyboard is different and I must have hit the £ sign three times before I figured out that the @ was located somewhere else. The other problem is that the letter "n" is rather sticky. . . I'm working hard to convince myself that it's just some spilled coke and that it's all going to be okay.

Well, that's it for now folks.

Till next we meet. . .

Changes

Well there's been a lot happening in my life lately that I figure I should post about.

The first thing is that I quit my job with the City of Edmonton. Of course people are curious as to why I did and there are a lot of reasons but at the end of the day I quit because it was time to leave. It was a good job, with amazing people that I was blessed to supervise, be supervised by, and work beside but it was no longer the right job for me.

So what am I going to do now?

Well, I have an idea for a business I'm going to try opening. I figure I'll give it a run and if it works then great, if not I'll just pick something up to pay the bills until I have another career lined up.

In other news I'm going to England.

I leave on Monday (October 15th) and I'll be back on November 4th. The plan is to spend the first week or so in London seeing some of the sights. The second week I'm going to head up to Scotland and spend time with my family up there. This will also give me the opportunity to return some of my mother's ashes to that side of the Atlantic. The final week I'm really just going to head around the country wherever the wind, and Britrail, take me. The specifics have yet to be determined.

I will try to post regularly on here for those of you that read it (or read it on facebook when it's imported) to keep you all updated.

If you're interested there is a going away party for me on the 14th at 8:00pm at the Funky Buddha on Whyte. Feel free to come down and buy me a drink.

Till next we meet. . .

What the hell was I thinking?

After my motorcycle crash this summer a lot of people thought I would give up riding. . .God only knows where they got that idea.

So when I found this article I thought it was something I had to post. Unfortunately I don't know the source but it does have the author's name.

STU

What the Hell Am I Doing?
by J.D. Tuccille
There's nothing like the feeling of a motorcycle sliding out from beneath you on a busy thoroughfare to focus the mind beautifully on the value of life. As your ass bounces from the cushioned seat toward the hard tarmac with the screech of unseen cars slamming on their brakes to your rear, you have one glorious moment in which to ask yourself: "What the hell am I doing?"
You see, that's the precise question that flashed through my mind as my accelerating rear wheel spun helplessly on an oil slick and 400lbs of Japanese machinery cushioned its fall with 170lbs of J.D. Tuccille.
My left elbow slammed against the asphalt before I had time to consider the answer.
But to a large extent, it's the question itself that matters the most: "What the hell am I doing?" Sooner or later most of us ask that same question. We ask it when we're doing something foolish, or brave, or unfamiliar, and we especially ask it when the situation goes sour -- when we find ourselves airborne in late-morning traffic. And if we don't ask it of ourselves, somebody else is sure to do us the favor: "What the hell are you doing?"
The question means that we're taking risks, trying something new, or just pushing the boundaries of our usual behavior. It means that we're living, not just existing; to pass through life without facing that question would imply a tightly constrained existence lacking risk and adventure.
Not every situation that provokes the question is to our credit, of course. Sometimes we've made a mistake, sometimes we've embarrassed ourselves, and sometimes we've made a complete balls-up of a situation and we find ourselves staring up from the ground into the face of an Emergency Medical Technician. And whether we decide that our latest venture was a moment of glory or shame, it's a sure bet that somebody else views our decision with disdain; we all have our own lives, and our own very different standards by which to judge them.
But it's important to remember that while everybody has the right to ask the question of himself and others, only the person on the spot, the person living that moment has the right to offer a binding answer. And that is what gives life so much of its value. We have the right to try, to risk dignity and even death as we take the basic fact of existence and mold it into a life worthy of the name through a personal choice of experiences, occupations, and adventures.
So when others try to answer the question for us, to prevent us from taking the risk because they don't approve, they don't just do us a disservice -- they rob us of the freedom that gives life its value. Through laws and taxes and regulations they try to consign us to an existence instead of a life; and this is not because the decisions they would make for us are necessarily bad decisions, but because they are not our own.
Some people -- not enough -- do understand this. After the accident, when the EMTs had assured themselves that my limbs were all in place and that I remembered my name, one turned to me and said: "And now for the important question: How's the bike?" As an EMT he had certainly seen his share of nasty motorcycle accidents -- incidents that ended with consequences more serious than my broken arm. But he understood, or at least respected, my decision to ride and to take risks that others find unacceptable.
We have the right to demand that attitude of everybody: disagree with us, call us fools, live your own lives differently, but don't try to tell us what decisions we may make in the conduct of our lives. Because the value of life is determined not by the mere drawing of one breath after another, but by the freedom to make our own decisions; to mold our lives as best we can into a shape that pleases us, and to enjoy the benefits or suffer the consequences.
What the hell was I doing? I was living my life. Now hand me my helmet or get out of the way.

Weekend Riding

So last weekend Lindsey and I decided that we were going to hop on the motorbike and go hit the mountains for some camping. Funny how things don't necessarily work out quite the way you plan them.

Thursday and Friday were a bit of a panic for me in that I had a whole boatload of work to do to get the bike ready for the trip. Friday night also was a bit of a panic because it included packing for the trip. Now saddlebags can't carry everything you want them to but they can carry everything you need them too, especially if you help them out by loading stuff on the luggage rack. We each took a saddlebag for our clothing (and of course Lindsey took a little of mine for her stuff as well) and we put the tent and sleeping bags (cunningly placed in a dry bag from MEC) on the luggage rack. I also have a little bag behind my windshield to carry some misc. tools and other items.

Saturday morning was a little overcast but we put on the leathers, hopped on the bike and off we went. About half an hour outside of Edmonton it was looking pretty rough so we stopped and put the rain gear on, it's always better to put your rain gear on and not need it than it is to try and discover how quickly you can get it on while being rained on.

Sure enough, moments after we got the rain gear on the rain started. . . and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the weekend.

The rain was cold. Really freakin' cold so despite our plan to try and make it to Penticton we decided that it was a better idea to fend of hypothermia, a cup of coffee (for Lindsey) and hot chocolate (For me) at the Tim Hortons in Edson was enough to do this for us and we continued on to Jasper.

We were expecting to see some of the wonderful wildlife that the road into Jasper is known for, they however were far too intelligent to be out in such heinous weather.

Jasper was a nice stop for lunch and some more hot coffee/hot chocolate and then we were back on the bike again and heading into BC.

The one thing you can say for this trip is that we had some wonderfully consistant weather. . . as a result Blue River seemed like a good place to spend the night. While we had been hoping for Penticton the combination of slow travel in the rain and the cold that was soaking into us convinced us to call a halt to our travels in wonderful Blue River.

I will say that if ever you're looking for a place to stay in Blue River the Blue River motel is tiny, clean, and well priced. It's a little tucked back into the town but if you ask at the Esso they can point you and it's definitely some place i would stay again.

So 570km later day one came to an end.

Funny Story

I love this story so I thought I would share.

------------------------------------------------------

Race with a Harley

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.

My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...

Till Next We Meet. . .

Talking Heads

I had a thought that perhaps since I put up my mother's Eulogy I should also put up the speech I delivered at my brother's wedding on the 28th. Here it is for anyone who's curious, it got a few laughs in the right places so I think it went pretty well.

Ladies and Gentlemen . . . and Gord:

I would like to start by introducing myself; as the more perceptive among you may have deduced from my current attire and my earlier duties I am the Best Man. More specifically I’m Craig’s older brother Stuart.

When Craig asked me to be his best man I did my best to duck out of the duty, as those of you who know me are aware I very much dislike giving speeches and being the centre of attention, even for a brief time. However he persisted and how could I refuse him, my brother, and the person who has been my best friend since before he was born?

Now, I'm sure a number of the fellows here today have been a best man at a wedding before, but I wonder how many of you have ever received written guidelines from the bride to be? Before I go any further, I'd like to explain that two weeks ago I received this email from Nina:

I was very pleased when Craig asked you to be best man at our wedding. I knew that by selecting you, he had made the right decision. But, as we get close to the day itself, I'm sure you appreciate the stress that we are both under. And adding to this, there are two aspects of the day that cause me concern - your speech and your conduct. I appreciate that as best man you are required to write a speech that pokes a certain amount of fun at the groom, with stories and jokes about his past exploits. But I do want you to remember that this is our wedding day, and I don't want something that you might say or do to spoil it. I would ask that you also keep a very close check on Craig as well. With this in mind, please take note of the following and I’m sure we’ll all have a wonderful day:

Remember at all times that my family is there.
Remember at all times that your family is there.
So do not get drunk.
Do not swear
Do not tell rude jokes
Do not use bad language.
Do not use your fingers when eating.
Do not take food from anybody else’s plate.
Do not sing.
Do not pick your nose.
Do not leer at women with low cut tops.
Do not belch.
Do not harass the bridesmaids.
Do not steal anything.
But most importantly of all, do not let Craig do any of the above.

So with that in mind I stand here before all of you somewhat at a loss as to what to say so I’ll keep it simple. Throughout his life Craig has been surrounded by people, some for a long time and some for a short time. I can say in all honesty that in the past three years I have seen Craig smile more, laugh more, and generally enjoy life more than ever before and I feel that there is no cause other than the beautiful woman who has so recently become my sister-in-law.

James C. Dobson once said

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

And in Nina Craig has found this person.

So I say

Nina, you’ve done good. Craig, you’ve done better.

So I ask you all now to raise your glasses in a toast to the Groom.

To the Groom!

Eulogy

It was my mother's service today so I thought I would post the eulogy that I presented.

In a little more than a week I will, for the first time, celebrate a birthday without my mother. This is because the person who brought me in to this world, loved me, taught me, cherished me, and occasionally scolded me passed away on July 13^th after a long battle with Cancer.

It has been said that the loss of a parent is one of life's most traumatic events. I now know the devastating truth of that statement. I've been told that, in time, the hurt will fade, only to be replaced by positive memories that soothe the soul. Already, I can feel that happening and I hope too that you can as well.

Born to Joe and Emma Alder and with an older Sister, Jean, on February 15, 1946 Carole Ann Alder began life. From all reports it was a life of fistfights, adventures, and some hardships, all of which helped to shape her into the competent, determined woman that we all knew.

When she was 14 her mother passed away after a long battle with MS and at the age of 21 she hopped on a boat and found herself here in Canada. As is typical with my mother she made her first new friend in the country before she had even arrived, this person of course being Hazel.

That Halloween at a party her friend Hazel was kind enough to accidentally introduce herself, and shortly thereafter my mother, to a young man in a most affectionate manner. That young man went on to marry her in 1969 As I’m sure many of you present remember. How could you forget someone who wears a mini-skirt as her wedding dress?

8.5 years later I arrived on the scene and by all reports I was a child of miraculous grace and beauty. . . not to mention my many other positive features. Three years and four days later my brother also graced this earth, and in both cases I’ve been told that my mother could not have been happier or more proud.

A few short years after my brother’s birth my maternal grandfather passed away, depriving my mother of both her parents. Fortunately she had found herself adopted into the Hunter clan many years before and her close relationship with her in-laws helped her through this difficult time.

Throughout her life my mother held a number of jobs but the longest and certainly most recent was with the Edmonton Public Libraries. She started there as a temporary float, moving from location to location as she was needed and eventually worked her way into a permanent position where she remained until moving onto disability two years ago. Though her years at the Library my mother made many friends, quite a few of whom were able to make it here today, something for which we are very appreciative.

Over the past two years and throughout this entire struggle my mother always maintained a positive outlook, and an attitude of optimism and determination. With the help of many of the friends and family gathered here today she was able to maintain an excellent quality of life and remain at home for as long as possible.

Finally on July 13^th my mother passed from our lives and into God’s care where we know she has found peace and an end to her suffering.

So I would like to take this opportunity to say “Thanks Mom, we’ll love you always, and think of you often”

Till Next We Meet. . .

Quite the Ride

Well, the last couple of weeks have been nothing short of insane. With the wedding coming up we had guests in from out of town including Scotland and a couple from the US so the house has been packed. This of course makes for a very busy time because these people are on vacation and want to see the sights . . . and guess who gets to take them. Now between the whole family I think they got a pretty good exposure but of course it's tough. Fun but tough.

The wedding?

It rocked. Things went beautifully, the weather was great (bloody hot) and everything was wonderful. There was a small hitch at the reception with a lack of A/C but most of us were used to the heat by then and I just don't think we cared that much. After enough alcohol it stops mattering how hot it is.

Other things?

I returned to the gym this week. I've been there off and on for the last while with distinctly more off than on but at least I've been doing something. This week however I found that I wanted to be back in the gym, finally I wasn't looking for excuses to get out of the workout early. I wasn't wasting my time talking to people only to discover that I was "out of time" and needed to get out of the gym. Rather I was in there with a joy to be there and a determination to work hard. Neither of my workouts this week were the best I've had but they weren't the worst either and that's a start.

Till next we meet . . .

Fast Update

Sorry I've not kept you all up to speed but things have been a little busy lately.

After her two year battle my mother passed away on Friday the 13th. She'll be sorely missed but it was time and it's all for the best at this stage.

An hour and a half later I crashed my motorcycle. There was no-one else involved it was strictly a case of me riding when I shouldn't have been and not paying attention when I should have been. Went down in a lowside, fortunately there wasn't a lot of damage to the bike and I had her back up and running a week later.

The delay was to let me get over my road rash enough to work on her and ride again. The road rash wasn't bad and about what I would expect from hitting asphalt at 60kph in a t-shirt and jeans. . . oh well.

Till next we meet. . .

Won't be long now

Well we got the news today that we're putting my mother in a hospice tomorrow (Saturday) morning. It's gotten to the point where my father can't really handle it any more and even with help from home care, my brother, etc it's just too much for him.

Apparently when he told my mother her face just fell, as hard as it's been for her at least she was always at home with people who loved her and now that won't be the case. It's not like we can't go and visit, heck we can spend the night if we want, but obviously it won't be the same for her.

I'm not sure that it's the best thing for any of us either, it means that there's a good possibility that when my mother dies there won't be anyone there with her except for some strangers. . . not sure that will sit well with any of us.

Still, I guess it's the way things have to go.

Wish us luck.

Till next we meet. . .

Random Acts of Kindness

So on Friday I was leaving my office and heading for a meeting on my motorcycle. As I proceeded up Groat Rd. I noticed a fellow on the other side trudging northward with a jerry can in his hands and I realized that he was probably attached to the van I had seen sitting on the side of the road. I realized that this poor soul was heading for the gas station on 111th ave and that it would take him at least an hour to walk up there, get his gas, and walk back to his van.

So I headed up Groat, looped around at the top and came back down. As I got up beside the guy I reached through the guard rail and told him to hand me the jerry can so that I could go get him gas and save him some time. He was quite incredulous but handed me the jerry can and tried to give me some money, I was concerned about getting creamed by a car so I just grabbed the can and told him I'd meet him back at his van.

I went down Groat, looped around, went up and filled up his jerry can (took a whopping $10). Then I proceeded back to his van and gave him the gas. He tried to pay me for it but I wouldn't take the money, it's only $10 and if you're going to help someone out you might as well do it right.

I then took of and arrived about 30 minutes late for my meeting, when people asked my why I was late I told them.

I then put up with a good half hour of teasing for "being a superhero" and being asked where my tights and cape were. Half an hour I was harassed for doing a good deed, half an hour I put up with shit because I helped someone.

Then my boss asked me why I'm the one that these things always seem to happen to.

The answer is that they don't happen to me. Probably 500 people drove past this poor guy, at least half of those would have seen him and probably said "That sucks" out of all those people only one of us said "That sucks, and I can do something about it."

So I did.

Now I do this sort of stuff all the time, mostly because people have helped me every time I've needed it so the least I can do is tithe that favour back to the universe.

The fellow I rescued was absolutely incredulous that someone would do that for another person for no other reason than to help out. In exchange I simply told him to pay it forward and help someone else who needed it whenever that opportunity presented itself. . . and I think he will.

The part of this that made me really sad was in telling this story when people would say "But it's not random acts of kindness week. . ."

Why the hell does it have to be a designated week? When did we get to the point that helping another person simply because you can is no longer sufficient reason?

I for one will continue to help those that I can, I will continue to change flat tires, fill jerry cans, give people a ride, sit on the side of the highway with people who are a little afraid to be there alone, dial 911, perform first aid, perform CPR, put chains back on bikes, and anything else that I can do to help. I can't always stop, I can't always help, but when I can I will and I challenge you to do the same dear reader. I challenge you to look at someone who's found themselves in a rough patch and ask what you can do to improve it for them.

Till next we meet. . .

Riders on the Storm Part Deux

So I'm not sure what the best part of riding in a storm is. Is it the fact that you get to quote Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade at high volume. Or that you get to blast Wagner's Flight of the Valkyrie over your headphones at high volume. . .

I'm also not sure what the worst part of riding in a hail storm is. Is it the fact that you get smacked in the face by stinging chunks of ice at traveling 80 Kilometers per hour. Or that they turn into little icy ball bearings once they hit the ground. . .

Your choice.

Till next we meet. . .

Riders on the Storm

So today on my way home form work I got caught in a monsoon. Now of coures that wouldn't mean anything to most people but I was on my motorcycle. I was smart enough to put on my leather jacket and leather chaps before leaving work but of course I was still pretty wet when I got home, particularely with the open face helmet on.

I was rained on, hailed on (that hurts) and rode through water so deep I had to put my feet up on my highway pegs to avoid getting them wet. There was thunder and lightning and drivers with poor traction and visibility who seemed more anxious than ever to score themselves a motorbike.

And I loved every second of it.

I was singing, sometimes I just howled, laughed, smiled.

I don't know what it was, perhaps in the middle of so much misery it was that feeling of being alive, I don't know. What I do know is that all those people sitting in their cars looking miserable had no idea what they were missing. . . You can keep your cage, I prefer my world thank you.

Till next we meet. . .

All Good Things

It's going to be that time soon.

My mother has been fighting her battle with cancer for two years now and it's going to be over soon I fear. While I don't know when exactly, or how I have a feeling that it's going to be before the end of June.

It's been a long and hard fought battle and she's fought it with her upper lip as stiff as her British accent would lead us to expect it would be. Throughout it all she's fought with strength, grace, and determination but shortly it's to end.

My mother took a turn for the worse a few weeks ago and has been getting weaker and more confused on daily basis now and I really do think that she won't live to see another July.

Please if you're reading this don't rush over to the phone to call or the car to visit. We're frankly swamped and while we appreciate your well-wishes we don't have a lot of time or energy to dedicate to you at this stage. Feel free to call myself or Craig on our Cell phones if you need to get a hold of someone and we'll help you out as best we can.

I did want to take this chance to thank everyone for your help and support over the last two years. Those of you who have really been there for us know who you are and have made a tremendous difference, please realize that we appreciate it. We might not always have said it but we really do.

I also want to thank everyone who's going to help us in this upcoming time, I doubt I'll remember to thank you at the time but please know that even if I don't say it out loud you have my gratitude.

Till next we meet. . .

Lifelong Learning

So I just got out of another day in a course that I'm taking through work. The course is a 28 hour course in Project Management 101 and it's amazingly intense. While people may think they understand how to run a project (I thought so) I have to say that if you've never taken a course like this you have no idea regardless of how much experience you have.

On that note I think that project management might be something that I'd like to get into in the future so I'm going to start working toward my credentials. I need to have 35 hours of classroom time (This course gives me 28) then I need to spend 4,500 hours managing various aspects of projects. I figure that since I'm doing projects all the time at work all I'll really need to do is start tracking them and possibly volunteering for some bigger ones and I'll be laughing. In another year or two I should be ready to write the exam and then we can see where things go.

While it may not be the career that I'm after it's fairly lucrative and since I'm going to be doing the work anyway I might as well figure out how to double dip.

Till next we meet. . .

That was close

So yesterday someone tried to kill me. I don't think he intended to but that wouldn't have made me any less dead had he succeeded. I was riding on my motorcycle when a moron cut into my lane doing about 30 less than the traffic and hit his brakes, fortunately I managed to not stuff myself up his tailpipe but it was a close thing.

I've always wondered when people talk about situations like that and say "My life flashed before my eyes" because in all the times I've nearly died I've never had that happen. Rather I find that I'm too focused on fighting my hardest to worry about little things like the rest of my life. If anything I find the rest of time and space vanishes, leaving just this little pocket of here and now which is all that matters.

It makes me wonder how many people find themselves going into that long night when they could otherwise have avoided it. How many people see the grim reaper coming and find themselves frozen with fear, unable to do anything but await what they feel is the inevitable?

It also makes me wonder how many of us out there see the grim reaper coming and find ourselves appearing frozen with fear, so as to trick him into a false sense of security so we can kick him in the balls and run like hell?

Till next we meet. . .

And Miles To Go Before I Sleep. . .

It's been a busy week.

Wednesday I was bouncing, some idiot made me throw him out. It probably wouldn't have been that bad for him since I usually try and talk people out the door but he got violent, first with another customer, then with me. The long and the short of it is that I threw him out by his head. . . fortunately he wasn't hurt as that's never my intention.

Friday I did the Labyrinth walk at the Centre and then went and watched a movie with A. We rented Man of the Year and it was really quite enjoyable.

Saturday was riding on the bike, ended up randomly at South Cooking Lake. Saw a couple of other VTX's on the way and on Whyte.

Today A., my brother and I headed out to Red Deer after church. Basically we rode down, had some food, rode back. It was a great chance to highway test a bunch of the new equipment on my bike.

Seat = Needs more breakin time but it's still head and shoulders above the stock seat. The driver's backrest is a Godsend.

Kuryakyn Iso grips = Great, really cut down on the vibration and increase comfort overall. The throttleboss is a great piece of equipment to add to your Kury grips.

Highway Pegs = useful but I need to buy the relocators to move them forward a couple of inches. I'm too compacted with them where they are.

Throttle Lock = this is possibly the best invention in the history of motorcycling. It prevents my right wrist from locking up and makes riding far more enjoyable.

Well that's it for now folks.

Till next we meet. . .

I'm back

Well, things have been hectic but I'm back again and I apologise for the unplanned intermission.

I don't actually have anything terribly interesting to report today but I just wanted to let those of you who read the blog know that I'm getting back on this horse.

Since the last time I've been on here I've received a bunch of new parts for my motorcycle including a touring seat, and new saddlebags. The bags are huge, you could put a small child in them if you really needed too. The seat is amazingly comfortable and comes with a driver backrest. I wish I had known earlier in my motorcycle career how great a good aftermarket seat can be.

Check out mustang seats

If you're interested in a fantastic motorcycle seat. The price is about average but the product and the customer service are both outstanding!

You can also check out my training log as I've made my first entry into that since January. . .

Till next we meet. . .

Real Life

My apologies to those who read this to keep up with my life, suffice it to say it's been busy.

I've been working more to help offset the cost of my motorcycle trip this summer and all the parts I've been putting on the bike in order to make it.

Aside from that 've been working on the bike to get all those parts on . . . and of course riding.

I'll try to get something better up later this week.

Till next we meet. . .

Leap of Faith

There's a man named Joseph Kittenger, probably not someone you've ever even heard of though his name should be as familiar as Chuck Yeager, Bob Hoover, Neil Armstrong, John Glenn, etc. The reason you should know his name is that he took the term "Leap of Faith" quite literally. . . He took a helium balloon to an altitude of 100,800 feet to test the effects of high altitude on human beings. Then when he's at the very edge of space he did something remarkable. . .

He jumped.

You can see a video of it here

Skydive Video

You can also read about him here

Wiki Article

After watching that how can anyone fear the little leaps of faith that we take on a daily basis?

Till next we meet. . .

Carpe Diem!

Last night on television was a show about the late, great Freddy Mercury. For anyone who knows me you know that I've been a tremendous fan of Queen since I was a teenager, for some reason their music really reached out to me and I just fell in love.

Over the years I've done a fair amount of reading on Queen when it came my way, I'm not someone who has to know every detail of every moment of the lives of musicians but I did find their story quite fascinating. Last night was so cool because I was able to see video of Freddy Mercury being himself rather than the character he played on stage.

The one thing that really stuck with me is that Freddy was a man who lived every day to it's fullest, he didn't waste time with regret and with suffering but was always moving on to the next great joy that life had to offer. Even on his deathbed he was creating music and enjoying life as much as he was able.

I think it just served as yet another reminder to me that I need to stop being afraid of the "What ifs" that life throws our way and just run with what my heart tells me is right. I have to admit that the times in life I've lept in head first are always the most entertaining.

Till next we meet. . .

A Quick Story

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work & his electric drill quit, his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do at the little tree.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again." Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

*Taken from Beliefnet.com*

Posting Under the Influence (of ADD)

Well, here's my ADD post for this month, that means of course that you could have another one as soon as tomorrow. As you may have guessed this post is going to hop around a little. . . hang on!

I'm okay

I've been carrying a lot of stuff around with my lately in a mental or spiritual sense and it's been weighing on me. While driving home from the gym today I saw a licence plate that said "UL B OK" on a truck in front of me. Wow! The Universe sure decided to make sure I didn't miss that message didn't it? I'm glad to get it as it came at a very opportune time as the last week has been pretty rough on me for a variety of reasons. Thanks Universe, and of course all of you out there who are contributing your consciousness to it!

Best Ad Ever

I saw the single best advertisement of all time today on the Internet, it's sad and it's got an "Engrish" translation so it's a little rough. It's also one of the most touching things I've ever seen and again, comes at a very opportune time. It reminded me what's important in life is what you love, and for what you love you'll do anything. It also reminded me that nothing done out of love, with faith in the Universe will backfire on you in the long run. You just need love and faith.


Here it is:

Saddest Commercial Ever

*Edit* Originally I embedded this but I really dislike the way that site embeds, it forces it to play and forces the sizing so there's a link instead.

Training

I managed to get off my butt and make it to the gym again today. I'm back! Now I just have to keep at it but I'm sure I will. I actually was prompted because last night I had an arm wrestle with someone I should easily beat. . . and we tied it up after a few minutes so I'm getting my butt back in action! Sometimes all we need is that kick! I'm also eating right again. 250lbs here I come but it's going to be a much leaner 250lbs than I was last time!

Motorcycle

Well, she's almost ready for touring! Still missing a few parts but except for the seat they're not the important ones so I'm happy! If the weather is nice enough I'm going to Calgary this weekend!


That's it for now folks.

Till next we meet. . .

Walking the Walk

I went to see a performance last night at the Arden Theater in St.Albert. It was a production by Decidedly Jazz Danceworks that featured Jackie Richardson singing and the DJD folks performing.

All in all I would call the performance nothing less than amazing. Those who know me know how hard it is to get a standing ovation out of me as I feel that a standing ovation should really only occur when a performer comes out and "turns it up to 11" so to speak, well last night it happened.

I'm not going to review the performance as I'm certain there are other people who will do so and if you're interested you'll be able to read about it there but I will say that if you have the opportunity you really need to get out and see this show. It was about love, and loss, and everything that goes along with those two and it was inspired.

On the topic of walking the walk, you all know that in recent months I've been working to make myself into a better person. Perhaps that's not right, I've been working to allow myself to be the person that I know I'm capable of being, the person I want to be. Part of that has been working on choosing better behaviours for myself in certain situations and last night was one of them.

Again I'm not going into details but I will say that I found myself falling into some older and less-desirable behaviours last night. Certainly not the end of the world but I was disappointed in myself at first, then I calmed down and let the universe speak to me. . . in this case via the show. I remembered the decisions I have made and I remembered how it is that I want to react in situations like that so I went back and corrected my behaviour.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be but last night I took a big step in the right direction. I was tested and while it looked like I was going to falter I managed to turn and step in the right direction, I stayed on beat and on track and pulled myself through.

This of course thrills me because while I didn't do it as quickly last night as I would have liked I'm well aware that every time it gets a little quicker and a little easier and every time I'll have less trouble with it.

I love you.
I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you.
Please forgive me for that part of me that has supported those things and these feelings within you.
Thank you.

Till next we meet. . .

Time Enough for Love

I've had this post running around in my head since Thursday and I've been trying to find time to get it up here, it appears I've finally found the time.

Back on Thursday I had a couple of things happen in my life that made a fairly significant impact on me.

The first is that my mother found out that the clock that's been on pause for the last two years has started ticking again. Apparently her large tumour is growing again and has started shifting around in her abdomen putting pressure on some of her internal organs and causing her a fair bit of pain. Of course with it putting pressure on her internal organs we can expect that she's going to start having some other problems related to that, we don't know exactly what yet and I have to say that I'm not really looking forward to finding out.

Obviously this was a hard thing for me to hear and while it's not unexpected I'm still not sure it's something you can ever fully prepare yourself for. We're still hopeful of course and she's still planning on being at my brother's wedding this summer at the end of July, we do however have to prepare for the event that she doesn't make it. It's going to be a hard couple of months coming up but the things I've gone through over the last couple of months have left we with some tools that will help me through it.

The other thing that occurred was my mother began going through a big bag of photos that my Grandmother had left behind when she passed. My mother was sorting them into groups so that she can pass them along to the appropriate people in the family.

As we were looking through the pictures we found pictures that ranged from 64 years ago when my father was a baby up until about two years ago when my Grandma passed away. There's a tremendous amount of history there and so many of the photos showed my mother when she was young, and healthy, and vibrant. These photos provided some rather memorable documentation of my mother's time in this country as she hadn't been here too long before she met my father.

As we went through the photos she told me who the people were when I couldn't figure it out for myself and told me stories around most of them. Sometimes she smiled, sometimes there were tears in her eyes and I think every emotion in between.

This made me realize that to her those photos weren't taken years ago in some distant history, rather they were taken a heartbeat ago. To her it was yesterday, she remembers quite clearly those people, and times and places, and sometime between this heartbeat and the previous one all those years have passed.

When I realized this I also realized that it's happening to me, that my heart is beating and that one day I'm going to wake up and realize that I'm on my deathbed, that things are soon to end and I'm going to wonder what happened to the intervening years.

Listening to her talk about the pictures also reminded me that those intervening years won't be measured as such. While I'll tell people how many years it's been I myself won't think of the time that way. Rather I'll measure the time in love, I'll measure it in the time I spent doing the things I love and I'll measure it in the time I spend with the people I love. Those two things above all else will hold space within me and will imprint themselves on my soul, sometime between this heartbeat and the next.

I also realized that I've been waiting, for some reason I've been waiting. I'm not waiting because I have to, I'm waiting because I choose to. The challenge that I'm encountering is that I've just realized how little of that waiting actually needs to occur.

I've been waiting until I have a better job.
I've been waiting until I'm healthy.
I've been waiting for people, and places, and times.

So much of this waiting has been nothing more that fear and procrastination, fear that I might fail, fear of what other people might think, fear of rejection, fear, fear, fear.

Well as of today I'm done with fear and I'm done with waiting.

While I understand that sometimes you can't have it all right now I also understand that there's a difference between a reason to wait and an excuse and as of today I'm done with the excuses.

After all, life is only a single heartbeat long and I don't want to lay there afterward and find that I'm still waiting and I'm out of time.

Till next we meet. . .

Musically Inclined

For some reason I'm really enjoying music this week, while it's always an important part of my life it seems to have really moved up in the rankings lately.

Those of you who know me know that I have very eclectic tastes in regards to music so I'm going to present her a pair of videos that I think are spectacular and worth everyone's time if you haven't seen them.

The first is a Violinist who's got Owner of a Lonely Heart and Smooth Criminal sounding like I've never heard them.


Amazing Fiddle Player - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Following that act is a band that I'm really enjoying called Corporeal, you can find them on myspace or floating around the net. Personally I think that three men on one guitar is a pretty astounding feat, particularly when it sounds like this.


Corporeal: All We Got - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

I hope you've enjoyed that.

Till next we meet. . .

International Hangover Recovery Day

It's amazing that International Hangover Recovery Day falls on the day after International Hangover Day. What's more fascinating is that International Hangover Day falls on the day after St. Patrick's Day. Huh. . .

Okay, I made that all up but it would make sense wouldn't it?

So this weekend I worked which I'm sure comes as a surprise to no-one given that the bar I bounce at is an Irish pub and Saturday was the infamous binge that is St. Patrick's Day. I started at 11am on Saturday and spent the first hour or so just standing around as we had our breakfast and lunch service going. Then around 12 it got busy and all of a sudded I was working busing tables, carrying food and whatever other task I could take away from the waitresses to help keep things moving.

Following that I ended up doing my more usual job of crowd control, checking ID's and general customer relations. Many people don't realize how important it is that the doormen be friendly when you come to a bar but I think it's absolutely crucial. After all we're the first people you see and the last people you see every time you go out and we very much set the tone for your evening by how we treat you. If we're nice to you then you have a good night, if we're not you have a bad night, and I hate to see that happen to anyone.

The day was a lot of fun as everyone was in a great mood so I really enjoyed myself talking to people and being around that many people having a great time. That sort of energy is priceless and definitely worth exposing yourself to any time you get the chance to, I'm fortunate in that I get paid to do it every weekend.

Then I ended up getting off work at 9pm which is pretty early, so I went to the back, found a t-shirt given to us at some point by a liquor rep and started partying.

If you go here (Phat Stu's Druid Photo Album) you can see some pictures from the party, not all of these are of me obviously but these were the folks that I was hanging out with and I must say that they were a blast! It was great and I'm really glad I got to know them, now I have new friends!

Till next we meet. . .

Species of the Bar

I figure since not a lot exciting is happening I'm going to entertain you with some descriptions of critters you can commonly find in a bar. I'm going to start with the one that is clearly my least favourite.

Bar Vultures

These creatures earn their name through their behaviour at the bar. Typically the show up at the end of the night, usually within 10 minutes of us locking the door and thus right around last call. They come in and grab themselves a single beer from the bartender, typically it's the cheapest draft we have because they have no intention of drinking any significant amount of it.

These creatures then spend the next few minutes circling the bar attempting to pick out the girls most likely to be incapable of making rational decisions. Typically they're looking for the drunkest girl there, they may also be looking for someone who has suddenly had a very bad night (friends left them, boyfriend broke up with them, etc) and thus are emotionally vulnerable. . . and drunk.

These despicable creatures then spend the remainder of the time allotted to them in the bar attempting to take that girl home with them. They're friendly, they smile, they listen, and at the end of the night they aim to take you home.

Now I understand that a large percentage of the people at the bar, male and female, are there in an attempt to avoid sleeping alone that night and I have no problem with this. The problem I have with the bar vultures is that they don't go after girls who can make rational decisions, they go after the ones who are too drunk to walk on their own and need to be carried to a vehicle. That my friends isn't hooking up at the bar, it's rape.

These bar vultures do however provide me with two sources of amusement and for that I'm forced to thank them. I do this by letting them walk away without the use of an ambulance most nights.

The first source of amusement is when they come to the door and I deny them entrance. They're stunned, don't I see them there every weekend? Of course I do, I'm also aware that they spend next to no money while they're here and that they do things that can give our bar a bad name and no, simply because you learned my name I don't become your friend.

The second source of amusement is when they're trying to carry a drunk girl out of the bar and I stop them. I'll then go through the girl's pockets/purse/whatever to find her ID and ask a few telling questions:

What's her name?
What's her middle name?
What's her birthday?
What's her address?

Now I understand if you don't get them all correct but if you don't answer any of them you can't really be surprised that I won't let you take them home. I mean really, if you can't even be bothered to learn her name don't expect sympathy from me when I take her away from you and propel you out the door with a vengeance.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that.

Till next we meet. . .

In Sickness and in Health

Well I'm sick. I have a cold more specifically, headaches, stuffed up nose, sore throat, cough, the whole kit and kaboodle. . . what the hell is a kaboodle anyway?

Last week wasn't very exciting, worked some OT at work and that was about it.

This past weekend I bounced, that was as entertaining as ever, which is to say that mostly it was pretty dull. I did manage to blow myself out of a shoe in the process of throwing a guy out however, that was fun. We went out the door and my shoe was sitting quite nicely right inside it. I would have face planted into the concrete too except that a fellow who was trying to get in the side door managed to grab me and keep me upright. While I generally discourage people from attempting to help us do our jobs his timing was fantastic and his reflexes cat-like. Obviously we let him and his friends into the bar.

Went to salsa lessons last night, that was as fun as always.

That's about it.

Till next we meet. . .

Tom's Rules

So there's a guy I know. . . we'll call him Tom. He's smart, he's a chiro. . .he's also a powerlifter, more than that though he's insightful. I was reminded of Tom's Rules the other day and I thought I should include them here as they're worth reading. So in his own words here are Tom's Rules:

1. Life's not fair.
2. You're not that fucking special
3. Everyone's full of shit
4. Everyone wants to go to heaven, no one wants to die
5. Eventually the stupid comes out
6. Never eat anything bigger than your head

Adjunctive rule: If you're dating a chick that's hot, but crazy, break up with her after six weeks.

I never numbered this one, it's kind of like an ammendmant or something

Enjoy.

Till next we meet. . .

Keep on Truckin'

Well, I haven't really anything interesting to report from the last couple of days since I didn't really do anything interesting on the weekend. I did go shopping and bought some jeans a couple of belts and a new shirt but that's about it.

I also managed to swing some Overtime at work which is nice as it's going to pay for more toys for RJ (my motorcycle) for the summer but of course cuts into doing anything else with my time.

This morning I was at the airport at 4:00am to pick up J who was flying back into Edmonton from Vegas where she spent a couple of days with her father. It's nice to get a chance to talk to her again, she was my best friend for two years and I've really missed her in the last 8 months. It's a little strange at times but my life is a richer place for having her in it so I'm certainly not going to complain about things being a little strange. That all having been said I'm ready for bed, unfortunately I've got another 3.5 hour of work to go as I'm on till 9:30 tonight.

Voice lessons are absent this week because my instructor is out of town.

Salsa on Sunday was fun as always.

A came to salsa last Thursday, I invited her because she was having a rough day and it's hard to be anything but happy in that wonderful environment. Great, upbeat music, great energy, fun people, who could be miserable there?

Although apparently that invite is stifling her and she can't spend that sort of time with me blah blah blah. . .

I've decided in recent days that in relation to A. I'm going to take Henry Rollins' advice and "Stop showing up for the beating!" Basically she's decided that she's going to be miserable and uses me as a scapegoat to explain why she's miserable rather than taking responsibility for her own life. She seems to think she's miserable because we spend too much time together, too much time talking, I care too much, I'm distant, or whatever other problem she's settled on at the moment so I've decided that if she's going to choose to be miserable I'm going to remove myself as a scapegoat. She's welcome to her misery but I'm not going to continue to be there to blame it on. . . not that it'll stop her but at least I won't have to listen to how I've ruined her life this week.

I'll still be there if she needs help, support, friendship, a shoulder to cry on, etc but I'm done with being the scapegoat for her misery.

And that's about all that's happening in my life right now. So I'll bid you a temporary farewell.

Till next we meet. . .

Workin' For The Man Every Night and Day

I apologise to those people who read this to keep up with my life, when my life gets busy it gets hard for me to keep up let alone allow you to. I will however hit you with some quick summaries.

Voice Lessons
Going really well, I'm nervous and out of my element but they're fun and my voice coach seems to think that I have an amazing voice with an amazing sound and can't wait to help me develop it. Cool.

Bouncing
It's been busy but fun, easily the best job ever if you're a single guy. Last weekend I ended with a few phone numbers, I'm not calling any of them because any girl that gives her number to a bouncer she met twenty minutes before needs her head examined and I don't really want any more "Crazy" in my life at the moment. Note the capital "C" on the word "Crazy" that's not an accident. . . some of those girls. . . whew! Still, it's nice for the ego to get the numbers and flirting is a fun game so I figure "Why not?"

Day Job
Crazy. We're getting our summer brochure together and it's been taking some serious time on my part, not bad time, and not unexpected time, just time. Lost some more staff, haven't found any new ones yet. Same old same old, still a fun job though.

Church
I'm still going, it's going well. I really like that place, the workshop the other weekend was good and I'm looking forward to the intro class that starts in March that I'm taking. It's only 3 evenings but I'm expecting some good things out of it, at the very least I'll meet some new people and that's always fun.

Sleep Apnea
Well, tonight I get to sleep with a machine attached to my face all night. I'm a light sleeper so this should be an interesting experience. This will tell me if I have sleep apnea or if I just snore, the lady giving me the machine said it would tell me "if" I snore. . .I told her that people in Belgium can tell her that I snore.

Self Actualization
It's slowed down but that's to be expected so I'm not concerned. Now it's just an ongoing process of small daily improvements and I'm working at them. I still choose to view every day as a great day and it's made my life a much happier place, I'm still not taking on things that I shouldn't and I'm working hard at those I should. All in all it's going well.

Marcus Aurelius
I seem to have misplaced my book. If you find it please let me know, I want it back so I can finish it.

Writing
I've been doing some random writing. I'm having trouble deciding what to make my first serious attempt at real publication though. Should I do a bunch of short stories? A book on picking up girls a the bar? A book on self actualization? A book on training?

The most votes seems to be going to the book on picking up girls, interspersed with funny anecdotes so I might go that way. Probably has the best market appeal out of all of them, in the end though I'm just going to write what comes out some days regardless of the overall plan. I'm enjoying giving in to my disease, it's fun.

Disease
Some people write because they like to. Some people write because they get paid to. Some people write because they have to. Not choose to, but have to. I'm one of the last ones. So was my favourite author Robert Heinlein who once said:

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
Robert A. Heinlein

I know exactly what he means by that.

Fini
So if you have a suggestion about what to write throw it in the comments. If you have comments that's also an appropriate place for them, I want to hear what you're thinking.

Till next we meet. . .

Slacking

It was pointed out to me today that I've been slacking with my updates, I would love to blame it on something but the truth is I've just not had much to write about. The last couple of days have involved work and that's about the sum total of my excitement.

I'm currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and I would recommend it to everyone out there with a caveat that it's a very very thoughtful book. When I had finished the first chapter (8 pages) I had to sit and meditate on it for two hours. I think this book is one that I'll be reading for quite some time to come and re-reading for the rest of my life.

That's about it.

Weekend Warrior

Wow, it was a busy weekend for me with lots of stuff happening.

Friday I worked then I went and bounced, it was a good night and I had lots of fun, slow though due to the long weekend and reading week being this week.

Saturday I slept until 3, did a lot of nothing exciting, then went to a social put on by the Salsa club I used to dance with. While it was a lot of fun I didn't stay too long, I think I need to break back into things gradually so when I felt it was time to leave I did. Prior to that I had an ER when I was there about being alone while at an activity like that, in the last 8 years I've almost always been with someone in those settings. I did however catch it and deal with it in a matter of moments. . . yay me!

After that I swung by the bar to get a phone number and got secunded into working. I managed to milk them for a lot more than my usual hourly rate since they were desperate and it was a bad night, paid off in spades.

Sunday I got up and went to church, then had lunch, then went to a workshop on Finding Your Life's Purpose. It was great on many levels, it was a great workshop that really helped me figure out not only what I should be doing with my life but set up a plan to do it and make money at it. Plus I had a massive ER while I was there and I managed to catch myself, integrate, and deal with it at the scene while remaining present in the workshop the whole time. It took a lot longer to process as a result but that was okay because one of the things I needed to do was deal with those while staying present in whatever I'm doing if possible.

So the weekend was a tremendous success on a wide variety of levels. . . cool eh?

Many Fingers, One Moon

Reverend Patrick once pointed out that religions are like fingers all pointing to the moon, the problem is that some people get more wrapped up in which finger they follow than what the finger is pointing at. . . the moon.

I receive daily quotes in my e-mail from a church in Red Deer and this morning's quote is a beautiful example of the aforementioned occurrence.

When the compulsive striving away from the Now ceases, the joy of Being flows into everything you do. The moment your attention turns to the Now, you feel a presence, a stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfillment and satisfaction—you don’t look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results. Neither failure nor success has the power to change your inner state of Being. You have found the life underneath your life situation.

Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, p. 69

That is this morning's quote and quite clearly the author is referring to the achievement of a state of flow or a peak experience. Though they're not using the same words as Maslow it's quite clear that the meaning is the same as the traits described above also describe quite clearly a peak experience or flow state.

I find this interesting because a number of people that I've talked to have trouble understanding how I can pursue my self-improvement both through a dedicated spiritual means and through a coldly rational means at the same time as they seem to feel that the two awarenesses are mutually exclusive. I find however that they're very complimentary when brought together properly. You have to realize that Maslow talking about self actualization is a man talking about how you can be the best "You" you can be, last time I checked that's what Rev. Patrick talks about every Sunday. Even the tools provided in each area overlap tremendously, in the church we learn about affirmative prayer and affirmations, when I took my sports psychology it was called positive self talk. Again, the details differ but the big picture is the same from both areas and it's the big picture that I'm trying to focus on.

After all it's the moon that's important here, not which pointing finger you follow in order to find it.

Some Mornings

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips

Today wasn't one of those days but the quote was so funny that I couldn't let it go without posting it.

Today I went to see the ear/nose/throat surgeon to talk about my snoring. He took all sorts of looks, I got to be on the receiving end of a nasal speculum and he stuck a camera up my nose to look down the back of my throat.

The result is that I'm going for a sleep study to confirm that I have sleep apnea, after which I'll get to try a CPAP machine to see if that helps. He said only about 50% of people can tolerate it and failing that I'm in for surgery.

The good news about the surgery is that he feels my tonsils are contributing about 40% to the problem so if I go under the knife he has to pull those out and that means that the whole thing is covered by health care. We'll see what happens after the sleep study which I should be up for in a couple of months.

I'm glad that something is finally happening about this after numerous doctor's visits.

Actually I'm Actualizing

The last couple of days have gone really well for me. I mentioned last week that I've decided to pursue the goal of self actualization and to that end I made myself up some Flashcards. Basically I took some affirmations, some daily questions, and I made up little flashcards that I read throughout the day. There are only two of them and they're double sided but they contain pretty much everything I'm trying to achieve in a quick easy to reference format. I'll include them at the end of this post.

How's that working?

Well, because I have these thoughts of what I'm trying to accomplish in my head all the time I find it a lot easier to ensure that my behaviours match my goals. Often in life we declare a goal then spend our time with behaviours that are irrelevant, or worse, incompatable with the goal at hand.

In the last couple of days I've caught myself being judgemental, being frustrated with people, being angry at people, and because I had those thoughts of self actualization floating around my head I was able to release those thoughts and feelings and put something more appropriate in their place.

In the last two days I've had some of the best conversations I've ever had with people I would never have expected I could talk to, let alone like all because I chose to enjoy it and embrace them for who they are rather than be frustrated at them for what they're not.

Now all I need to do is keep it up.

Flashcards

This card is the general principals by which I endeavour to live, from a spiritual standpoint.

· I choose today to give myself the best life ever.
· Energy flows where attention goes.
· I'm the first example of how the world should love me so I need to teach people how to treat me.
· Success is living your talents within you.
· Attitude of Gratitude...I choose to focus on what I'm grateful for rather than what I resent.
· True forgiveness is saying thank you for giving me that experience.
· In the midst of chaos, in the middle of the storm, ask yourself: What are you here to teach me?

These are the traits of a self actualized person phrased as affirmations

· I embrace the facts and realities of the world (including myself) rather than denying or avoiding them.
· I am spontaneous in my ideas and actions.
· I am creative.
· I am interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key force in my life.
· I feel closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
· I have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
· I have discernment and am able to view all things in an objective manner. Judgments and prejudices are absent.

These are my morning meditations

· What are my intentions for today? What will I feel, be, desire, accomplish, broadcast, and experience?
· How will I express these intentions through action?
· What pain and hurt do I have that needs to be released today?
· Will I graciously accept what the universe has to offer? Even if it differs from my conscious intentions?
· Am I prepared to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me?

These are my reminder notes for when I find myself having an Emotional Response (ER)

· Acknowledge having an ER.
· Consciously own what is bothering you, identify it, express the emotions around it.
· Stop expressing, go inward for insight and clarity. What does it remind you of? Why is it familiar? Why does it bother you?
· Sink into the soft pain, be gentle with yourself.
· Stay with the soft pain, identify a physical point of pain, ground yourself, release judgments about yourself.
· Let the pain run it’s course, be thankful for the gift.
· Come out blissful, empowered, calm, with new understanding.

Two Wheeled Humour

If you know me you know that I'm an avid motorcyclist, so when these came my way I couldn't help but share. I hope you enjoy the lighter content, and yes folks there is a "u" in "humour".

1. Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. ~Author Unknown

2. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. ~Author Unknown

3. Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. ~Author Unknown

4. Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. ~Author Unknown

5. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. ~Author Unknown

6. Whatever it is, it's better in the wind. ~Author Unknown

7. Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. ~Author Unknown

8. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary

9. Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels

10. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. ~Author Unknown

11. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. ~Author Unknown

12. When you're riding lead, don't spit. ~Author Unknown

This, That, The Other Thing

To be honest I've been trying to figure out what to post about my weekend and I've realized I still have no idea.

I was going to post about how Friday night was one of those nights that makes you glad to be a bouncer. Nice people, good time, no real problems, etc. I decided against it.

I was going to post about how Saturday night was one of those nights that makes you regret being a bouncer. Overcrowded, hot, jerks everywhere, lots of problems at the end, etc. I decided against it.

I was going to post about the revelations I had this week in regards to self actualization and how I've put together two, double sided, flash cards for myself to help with my daily meditation and to help me get grounded again when things start getting rough. They're cool and I think they'll help me quite a bit, still not really that exciting is it?

I also debated posting about apartment hunting, at the end of the day I can sum it up by saying that it sucks. 'nough said.

I will post about this though. I'm worried about A. I went to church today (as every Sunday) and she was there, at the end of the service we ended up talking for a few minutes and she's not in good shape. She put on a brave face but she looked/felt more scared, lonely, hurt, and afraid than I've ever seen her. I find that concerning since we were under the impression that it was my stress and problems that were screwing her up like that so badly but it appears that getting rid of me hasn't solved anything for her.

The reason I'm scared is that she has it in her head that she has to do this (heal, find herself, etc) on her own. I'm scared because she has that in her head and it means that she might not ask for help even if she needs it. While I'm not saying she should ask me for help as we are broken up, I'm a little afraid that she may not ask her friends and family and that could end up making this a lot rougher on her than it has to be.

In the end though I'm not going to worry for her because it won't help anything. Rather I'm going to include her in my daily prayers (yeah, I've taken to praying as part of my meditation) and send good energy and positive thoughts her way. I'm going to remember to keep her in my mind whenever I can in a positive energy to try and help her out in the one way I can right now.

I would also ask anyone who reads this to do the same, whether you know her or not it will help.

I sure hope she's okay, and I sure hope that she asks if she needs help. Whether it's me or someone else I hope she asks.

Maslow, Pavlov, and Me

Recently I've decided that I need to engage on a course of self-actualization. That is to say that I wish to become a Self Actualized person, or at least as much of one as I can be.

Now, there are quite a few things that need to happen and to no small extent the biggest in my world is that I need to overcome my Pavlovian Reflexes as they relate to my behaviour.

What does that mean?

Well, all of us have conditioned responses to certain situations and it's become clear to me lately that some of my conditioned responses are totally out of whack with my goal to become a self actualized person. A self actualized person has the following traits:

• They embrace the facts and realities of the world (including themselves) rather than denying or avoiding them.
• They are spontaneous in their ideas and actions.
• They are creative.
• They are interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key focus in their lives.
• They feel a closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
• They have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
• They have discernment and are able to view all things in an objective manner. Judgments and prejudices are absent.

Now I've always been pretty good at most of these but recently I've found myself floundering with spontaneity, creativity, my closeness to other people, my appreciation of life and my absence of judgements. Quite the list eh?

One of the other important parts about self actualized people is that they're more likely to have peak experiences in their lives. Now, I disagree with Maslow in that I've had peak experiences while riding my bicycle, riding my motorcycle, lifting weights, competing at Judo, practicing Judo, practicing gymnastics, writing, and sometimes just being. Personally I feel that the more areas of my life in which I can find those peak experiences or "flow" as it's often called in the sport psychology world the better my life will be.

Maslow seems to indicate that self actualized people are the ones who find their "reason for being" and make that into their work, their passion, and their life. I'm afraid that I don't have a single thing that meets those qualifications. I don't have that single overwhelming drive in my world, what I have is an incredible desire to see it all and do it all. As a result I find that I experience flow in a tremendous number of aspects of my life, which I view as a good thing.

It's been a little while since I've experienced any flow in my world and I'm looking to get it back. In no small part I can feel that state approach when I get myself wrapped up in writing this blog, it's not quite there but it's almost on top of me. I know when the motorcycle hits the asphalt again I'll have that feeling back, I live in Edmonton though so I need to find places other than the saddle of my motorcycle to experience that. I'm personally of the opinion that peak experiences and self actualization are caught together in a feedback loop, the closer you get to one the closer you are to the other and the more of one you experience the more of the other you'll experience so I'm going to look for my self actualization both through the intellectual pursuits that are necessary to achieve it but also through the achievement of more flow in my life.

What's it all mean?

It means daily meditation. I need to work on those parts of this that I can work on intellectually, I will stop being judgemental, I will become more appreciative of all the universe offers me, those sorts of things. Those are more of a viewpoint than anything and I need to sort out where my viewpoint got warped and figure out internally how best to straighten it out.

I'm also going looking for flow. I know that trying new things can open up more chances to experience that flow and I'm looking forward to it. So I'm going to look into singing lessons, I'm re-evaluating a return to school, I'm going to start practicing my Didgeridoo, I'm going to write more, and I'm going to get myself back into the gym. The one part of this it's always been within my power to control is my own body and I'm going to take that to heart now.

So, come along for the ride if you want. Your advice and comments are always welcome, even if they might seem negative to you.

Let's see what the universe has to offer.