This, That, The Other Thing

To be honest I've been trying to figure out what to post about my weekend and I've realized I still have no idea.

I was going to post about how Friday night was one of those nights that makes you glad to be a bouncer. Nice people, good time, no real problems, etc. I decided against it.

I was going to post about how Saturday night was one of those nights that makes you regret being a bouncer. Overcrowded, hot, jerks everywhere, lots of problems at the end, etc. I decided against it.

I was going to post about the revelations I had this week in regards to self actualization and how I've put together two, double sided, flash cards for myself to help with my daily meditation and to help me get grounded again when things start getting rough. They're cool and I think they'll help me quite a bit, still not really that exciting is it?

I also debated posting about apartment hunting, at the end of the day I can sum it up by saying that it sucks. 'nough said.

I will post about this though. I'm worried about A. I went to church today (as every Sunday) and she was there, at the end of the service we ended up talking for a few minutes and she's not in good shape. She put on a brave face but she looked/felt more scared, lonely, hurt, and afraid than I've ever seen her. I find that concerning since we were under the impression that it was my stress and problems that were screwing her up like that so badly but it appears that getting rid of me hasn't solved anything for her.

The reason I'm scared is that she has it in her head that she has to do this (heal, find herself, etc) on her own. I'm scared because she has that in her head and it means that she might not ask for help even if she needs it. While I'm not saying she should ask me for help as we are broken up, I'm a little afraid that she may not ask her friends and family and that could end up making this a lot rougher on her than it has to be.

In the end though I'm not going to worry for her because it won't help anything. Rather I'm going to include her in my daily prayers (yeah, I've taken to praying as part of my meditation) and send good energy and positive thoughts her way. I'm going to remember to keep her in my mind whenever I can in a positive energy to try and help her out in the one way I can right now.

I would also ask anyone who reads this to do the same, whether you know her or not it will help.

I sure hope she's okay, and I sure hope that she asks if she needs help. Whether it's me or someone else I hope she asks.