The Beast In Me

The beast in me
Is caged by frail and fragile bonds
Restless by day
And by night, rants and rages at the stars
God help, the beast in me
The beast in me
Has had to learn to live with pain
And how to shelter from the rain
And in the twinkling of an eye
Might have to be restrained
God help the beast in me

Sometimes
It tries to kid me that it's just a teddy bear
Or even somehow managed
To vanish in the air
And that is when I must beware
Of the beast in me
That everybody knows
They've seen him out dressed in my clothes
Patently unclear
If it's New York or New Year
God help the beast in me
The beast in me

Performed by Johnny Cash

Too often this is how I feel lately. On Friday I tried to do the Labyrinth walk at the Centre but part way through the beast came out and I had to leave. I walked right out of the Labyrinth, despite being about 2/3 of the way to the centre.

However, I won.

I caught myself before I managed to run away completely and made myself go back in and use the skills that Michele had helped me with. I looked at my feelings, analyzed them, accepted, and integrated them. It took me about 10 minutes to catch the beast and another 10 or so to subdue him but I'm calling it a victory. It's a first step on the journey to health. . . hopefully not too long a journey.