Boot to the Head

Today I strongly wanted to offer my psychologist a boot to the head.

Why?

Because he did to me what my family has done to me, what my friends have done to me, what my bosses have done to me. That is to say when I explained all the things that are currently causing me pain and difficulty with my life he proceeded to talk about how "That shouldn't be like that, it's not supposed to be like that"

It is like that.

Yes, there's a lot of shit dropped on my head right now. No, it's not fair.

The thing is, I was asking him for tools so that I can deal with the shit, I was asking him what I need to do to survive all this and to be as healthy as I can in the process. While I understand that removing myself from as much of it as possible is a good idea I'm already doing that and no amount of that talk will get me to quit my career or completely abandon my family, that's not realistic.

Rather than help me with tools all he talked about was how "It shouldn't be like that". Despite me making five separate requests for tools to help me cope all he provided was that brilliant insight.

Wow.

Do you like being ignored? I don't. In fact it tends to cause a fairly extreme emotional reaction in me, particularly when I feel that it's unjust, like when you're being paid to pay attention to me. Like he was.

So I walked out.

Was it the best reaction? Probably not but I had realized that I was beyond rational and I needed to get away from the situation before 20 years worth of anger came out at that arrogant little man.

I'm going to see him again on Monday though. I figure I'll present today's problem to him and see what he says. If he acknowledges it and works with it great, if he ignores me like he did today I'll pull out a book and spend an hour in his office reading, enjoying the quiet. I'm not paying for his services so I don't really care either way but he's not getting off the hook that easily either.